Since I moved back to MA I have been visiting many places I hadn't had a chance to see on previous vacations home. By "places" I mean mostly restaurants, and by "hadn't had a chance to see on previous vacations home" I mean restaurants I hadn't visited over and over and over again..with maybe a few new eateries thrown in for good measure here and there. I have been eating with no regard for anything but sheer deliciousness, and boy oh boy is it catching up with me. I'd like to blame it on New England food being so much better than South Florida food (which it is) but I know that the delectable cuisine here is only partly to blame. I have thrown caution to the wind and really have been on a bit of a binge since moving back! My bad.
While perusing some old pictures of me that I recently found, I came to the realization that, GOOD LORD, I need to get back in shape ASAP. So, effective a couple weeks ago I began my healthy eating and exercise routine that literally dominated my life for years in my mid to late twenties. It was hard work then. It is even harder work now. I find that my metabolism- which was never kind to me to begin with, really has some kind of evil grudge against me in my 30's. That bitch. So, results are not quite as fast as they once were. But I am now determined. I have to gradually build up my exercise routines to be what they once were, as I get tired much sooner than when I was at my peak physical fitness. It is frustrating trying to remember that point, when certain moves or segments that were once so easy are so taxing for me now. But I find I can do more and more little by little every day. Hopefully, it won't be too long until I am resembling something like this again:
I tried to pick a picture that wasn't too risque from the collection I stumbled upon. I was about 26/27 when this was taken. I wasn't too thin, and I wasn't too heavy- just right. I figure that a bathing suit picture is much more revealing, so this would be a "modest" choice in comparison, right? So, the fitness journey continues.....
The Raven That Refused To Sing (and other stories) is my favorite Steven Wilson solo album yet. The collaboration between Steven Wilson and his amazing band this time around is really what pushed this album over the top, musician-ship and composition wise. The concept of this album is so well done at every angle - through the music, the pictures, the stories, and the powerfully emotional video for the title track. Everything is seamlessly interwoven so that you almost can't imagine one aspect without the others- the artwork fits the music so perfectly. And, it almost doesn't even need to be said, but the sound on this album is outstanding.
Starting with the opening track of Luminol, we are thrust into the power of all these top notch musicians combining. I feel this song really showcases their creativity and energy. This song may just be one of my favorite songs ever. It starts off with so much kick and vigor you can't help but simply rock out with it. It seems to soar and float from one segment to another until you reach the middle, which gently transitions you into a beautifully quiet and dreamy stretch of sonic landscape and story telling. The harmonies are exquisite, which they most always are with Steven Wilson behind them. Finally, the song builds and builds until it reaches a spectacular finish that ties everything all in again...how could a song like that end any other way, really?
Drive Home is gorgeous. Some parts of it remind me of renaissance times...actually, there a few moments that remind me of renaissance times throughout the album, but I digress. There seems to always be one catchy, pretty little song like this in SW's work...but the ingeniously done solo at the end is really what sets it apart. I know comparisons can be annoying, but I have to say it: certain pieces Guthrie Govan's solos and guitar work/phrasing remind me very much of the late, great, Dimebag Darrel. A guitarist that I feel nobody would mind being compared to!*Edit - uhhhh....after seeing Guthrie live and educating myself on his work I have to say he is beyond comparison. Yes, Dimebag was a very versatile guitar player as well...but not like Guthrie! My face was melted off by him.
The Holy Drinker is a very dark and heavy song, it starts off very ominously but then has what I wold call a funk rhythm beating underneath somewhere when it gets into the first lyrical part of the song. The song just plain rocks out, but also takes you on a roller coaster journey of highs and lows...speeding up and slowing down..becoming very quiet and brooding, before blasting a downright nasty guitar riff out to end the song. The story is of a self righteous religious man who has his own evil vice in the form of a drinking problem. As the story goes on, this man challenges the devil to a drinking match. Of course he loses the challenge and is dragged into hell.
The Pin Drop. It is one of my favorite songs on the album. Steven must have been working on his vibrato, or maybe he has been waiting to break it out for just such a song as this, because his vocals in this song are very different, unique and refreshing to listen to. It almost doesn't sound like him as he belts out the beginning lyrics. Just as you are settling into the verse the song bursts forth into a lovely and almost frantic chorus that you may not quite expect. And just when you think you have a handle on the whole song...it ends. It's perfect.
The Watchmaker. I know how overused this word is, but..what an epic song. Another favorite. It is a complex song with many different segments, but they all need each other to tell this story. It is a massive, sweeping song that builds to a dark crescendo of a ghostly message repeating over and over again: "I'm still inside you." The story in this song is particularly defined to me, and really gets its point across from beginning to end - not to say the other songs don't, but this one just seems more thorough to me.
The Raven That Refused To Sing. Oh! What a powerful, emotional journey this song takes me on. Paired with that truly creative and impactful video- the feeling that song evokes from me is almost too much to take. The story for this song is particularly heartwrenching and really draws you into the characters and their sorrows. I personally feel like this is the most touching, beautiful, and delicate song Steven Wilson has yet written. Once again, when you add in the art work and/or video, the emotions are really enhanced. I love when music can make you feel such strong emotions and really touch you to your core as Raven does...it is a rare and elusive feeling that I'm glad I discovered through SW's work.
So, though in my eyes Steven Wilson can do no wrong, this album is beyond expectations. I happened to be lucky enough to procure the deluxe limited edition 128 page edition of this album- which was worth every penny. The illustrations, the stories, and of course the music was so carefully and thoughtfully put together it spoils you for any other artist's work.
Photo courtesy of earthsky.org - captured by Antti Pietikainen in the autumn of 2011
I always have the itch to travel. If I had my druthers I would travel the world all year round, exploring every tiny village and large metropolis, taking millions of pictures and amassing an impressive collection of souvenirs along the way. Of course I would occasionally be checking in at home base...I guess.
Unfortunately, I am not in the position to be able to travel all year, so I have reconciled myself to the idea of taking one interesting trip every year or so. This year, I am planning on Iceland! At the top of my list of things to see is the Northern Lights. I ache to see them. I feel like there is a void in my soul until I see them. It is just something that has been pulling at me lately with a strong gravitational pull. I don't think I can rest until I see the Aurora Borealis!
I understand that I am not guaranteed to see them. Which I admit is a rather daunting thought. But Iceland is such an interesting and beautiful place, all will not be lost if I don't see those elusive and magical lights. In fact it would just give me reason to keep traveling to find them!
I am doing my research on Iceland and biding my time waiting for the right deal to come along. Though I may not have any concrete plans yet...I am excited at the very thought of standing under the Icelandic sky, marveling at the wonder that is the Northern Lights.
Getting reacquainted with New England is taking just a little time. These bothersome blizzards and weekend snow storms aren't helping me acclimate any easier either, I'll tell you that much. There are some small annoyances that I wish would be remedied - for instance: The highways and roads in and around the Boston area are dreadful. OK, most of my gripes seem to be about the roads and/or driving around here..other than that, with the purchase of one very warm pair of fleece Garfield pajama pants, it seems I am prepared to be a New Englander once more.
Being in MA has its perks, too. Quite a few of them. At the top of the list, however, would be the music scene. To be more particular, Steven Wilson. Last year his "Grace For Drowning" tour came to Orlando. That was about 3 hours away from me. Worse than that, it was in the middle of the week. I couldn't go. I still regret it. Once again, his 2013 tour will come nowhere near South Florida. Lucky for me, I am now living near Boston, and I am counting down the days to his show. I got some AMAZING seats and feel like I did in my formative years, when I was filled with so much excitement and so anxious to see a show it seemed the day would never come!
Now, to the good stuff. Steven Wilson's new album - "The Raven That Refused To Sing (and other stories)." This, Steven Wilson's third solo work of art, is inspired by ghost stories of yore. Stories inspired by the likes of Edgar Allan Poe and early 20th century English writers like M.R. James, Algernon Blackwood, and Arthur Machen. All of whom (save Poe) Steven has said he had been reading around the time of the album. These are not the cheesy gore or shock value type stories that riddle today's movie theaters and book stores...but the brooding, uneasy, macabre, slow sense of dread and doom and damnation type of stories that seem to only belong to that bygone era. Stories more about regret and loss, using ghosts both as a metaphor and as an actual entity. The album doesn't actually come out until February 25th. But there are a couple tracks that have so graciously been released early for our listening pleasure: "Luminol," which may just be one of my favorite songs EVER. And, the song the album was named after: "The Raven That Refused To Sing." That song. THAT. SONG. That song, is so powerful and moving and emotional and beautiful I almost can't take it. It was released with a video to go along with it that is just as powerful and beautiful and touching...it is just beyond words. The story seems to be about an old man, nearing death, and longing for his sister whom he loved so dearly but lost at a young age. The old man encounters a raven that he feels could be a sign from his sister...or perhaps it actually is his sister. He just wants so badly for there to be some kind of connection to her..to beyond..to know he isn't alone, won't be alone, - that he will be with her again. That she watches over him. That he won't miss her anymore. If the raven will only sing for him - he will know it is her. He will know it is a sign. He will know that she waits for him on the other side. He can have hope. But, the raven refuses to sing.
This song really resonates with me. Though the characters are different, the feeling is the same. My mother died when I was seven. Having death touch your life at such a tender age definitely changes you, it estranges you from your peers. You are forced to deal with the fact that things end. That there is a finality to all this. You can't help but ponder your own mortality, while other children are pondering Mickey Mouse.
Though I have an unusually large amount of memories of my mother and I, naturally there are a lot of things I wonder about, lament about, question, "what if?"...and many, many times, I still find myself missing her terribly. Though I'm not the least bit religious, I do look for signs from her, I guess I do want that reassurance, that feeling that she has been with me and will be with me until I can see her again. I think the search for these signs is only human. A human need to find solace. To find comfort in knowing our loved ones aren't ever really gone. That we really don't end. That we are never alone. I guess I'm always waiting for my own raven to sing.
"Sing to me raven, I miss her so much."
That's where I am so far. Touched to the core from the title track of Steven Wilson's new album. I would never expect anything less than amazingness from him, and he has yet to let me down. Such a brilliant man. And so, I am extra happy to be back in New England. Not only am I close to my family and best friends again...I am guaranteed to see Steven Wilson on any given U.S. tour! With that, I am off to work on my own music. Who knows, maybe someday my music will touch others the same way SW's music has touched me. I think that is what every real artist wants their work to do...
P.S. I just watched the video again for, oh....the billionth time. And I was just put through that powerful emotional journey again. That pairing of that amazing video and song...the story telling is just overwhelmingly gorgeous. It also brought back a memory. Watching the old man fearing death..the hands, the unknown monster coming to take him, and then seeing what/who he thinks is his sister protecting him...brought me back to a particularly dark memory of my Grandfather, in his late 80's. He had never quite gotten over my mother's death. On this particular afternoon as we were sitting in his living room talking about her he just broke down. He seemed to become delirious for a moment - and he was scared, bewildered. Then he exclaimed that he saw my mother before him - protecting him. He kept calling her name. When he finally came out of it he just cried gently. It was a side of him I had never seen, and it was unnerving. A moment I apparently chose to hide in the recesses of my mind until now. That's the power of song and film....
Well, as the new year draws closer, so too does the end of this chapter in my life. I am leaving Florida. I am returning home to Massachusetts. Tonight as I was leaving one of Lenny & I's favorite spots - Boston's on the Beach, it began to really hit me. This is the last time I will be visiting Boston's as a local. As I walked back to my car I snapped a picture of a group of Christmas Palm trees, with their festive Christmas lights coiled and winding up to the top, something I had taken for granted, now pulling sentimentally at my heart strings - I will miss the little things like that. I looked to my right to see the ocean, shimmering in the moonlight, calm and serene. My beach. My dear beloved little beach town of Delray. Atlantic Avenue, beautiful, charming, even romantic. Everywhere I turn I see a memory, including my favorite restaurant of all time: The Blue Anchor. All the 101 dear little spots I have traversed and become so friendly with, I am now realizing that I am leaving behind.
There is such a finality to this, which I guess is why it is affecting me so. When I left MA, I knew very certainly I would be back one day. Without a doubt. I can't say that about FL, about Delray...and I think that is what hurts me the most. I have grown so much these past six years. I have really lived and learned here. Here I became truly independent. One does not know the meaning of the word independence until they have lived thousands of miles away from their closest friends and family, all alone, with no financial help or help of any kind, really. And I would not trade one second of this whole experience. Not the heartache of a relationship gone wrong. Not the insecurity of being in a town - in a state that is completely foreign. Not the stress of just making ends meet so that you can live in a beautiful place that you are proud to call home. Or shaking the nervousness of going out of the way to make new friends, or go on dates, or try out for a band. None of it.
I also broke out of the shackles that had held me for so long in the world of retail sales and into a new and refreshing 9-5 world. Another Florida first. My experience with the bank was one that I always will fondly look back on. Especially since they sent me to Ohio for their "AmTrust Idol" Christmas party contest, which was an amazing experience...though not quite as amazing as winning $1000 in the FL contest! But one of the best things to come from that contest was meeting a great friend. Indeed the people I worked with at the bank are still my favorite FL coworkers I have worked with.
Also, and probably most importantly, I have Florida to thank for my relationship with Lenny, which it seems is destiny. Being with Lenny and having him move to the east coast of Florida to be with me really opened up a whole new world. Since we fell in love and have been living together we have also shared our mutual love of music and opened each other up to countless new bands and sounds and concerts and experiences. With Lenny I really started living. With him I really got to know South Florida. With him I got to express my passion and love for music in so many ways. I will never be able to thank him enough for that, or simply for his companionship and encouragement and caring nature. I think our meeting was the reason we both came to Florida...it just took a couple years before we realized it.
And now, it is all coming to an end. Six years. From age 24 (just about 25) to 31. God, did that go by in a flash. I feel like it will all seem like a dream once I am settled back in MA. I'm sure I will wonder if it ever really happened, if it was just some figment of my imagination...my beautiful Delray Beach. With it's gorgeous turquoise oceans and golden sand. The mansions that line A1A that I never dreamt I would get to walk in. (but thanks to my extremely cool boss, not only did I get to walk in his ocean front mansion, I got to hang out with baby lions and cougars in it too!) My little home community of Verano, with it's lake and "Dirty Dancing" bridge. All the festive and wonderful gatherings downtown, where they close the streets to let us party, or sell their wares, or have parades. Boston's on the Beach where every Sunday night the local and renowned Grateful Dead cover band Crazy Fingers would play. All of these things and more..make my heart feel so heavy. I am so excited to be going home...but the taste is just so bittersweet. I never knew I would fall in love with Delray Beach. I don't know if I will ever move back here, but I sure hope I will, perhaps as a snowbird...someday.
Yes, that's right, I used a Steely Dan lyric/song name as my title. Though it's such a commonly used phrase, I'm sure no one would have realized that, hence my little explanation.
I go "home" next week. Home will always be Massachusetts. I am wishing & hoping for some crisp fall weather. Some cool, refreshing, sweater and boot wearing, zero humidity, perfect fall weather. A little foliage wouldn't be so bad either.
No matter the temperature, I will be going apple picking. All my life my family has traditionally and annually gone to Applecrest to apple pick. Applecrest is a pick your own apple and pumpkin farm that also has a bunch of crafts and folk art type stuff, along with home made pies, and cheese, and donuts and cider, etc.. - yum! I believe on the weekends they have all sorts of good things to eat such as corn on the cob and chowder as well. Far be it from me to break tradition, when I have the opportunity to keep the tradition going!
And apparently, Applecrest has now added a creamery???? Oh, I can't wait!
There will also be a trip into Boston, with a primary focus on the North End. Galleria Umberto, in particular. Man, oh man. Umberto's. You have to get there before they sell out of what you want. They only make so much a day, and once they sell it all, they close shop - and the lines are out the door, literally. I'm convinced Umberto's has THE BEST arancini on the planet. Seriously. I made sure to sample various arancini when I was in Sicily, and honestly, it did not compare.
In addition to Umberto's I'm sure Modern Pastry will be visited as well. Everyone will say that Mike's Pastry is the best, but Modern is the hidden jewel. My Dad recently informed me that he saw Parisian macarons being sold in Modern Pastry...so I'm pretty confident in saying I will be making a stop there.
One last place I need to mention that is always visited at least two times minimum when I come home - Kowloon. Oh do I love Kowloon. I love everything about it. From the volcano painted on the wall with the lava effect that looks like real lava a-brewin' to the trio of fountains in the heart of the restaurant that I always request to sit by, to the cheap plastic colorful lei they will give you with a large party. Not to mention the food - South Florida is severely lacking in the Chinese food department. I have not found one place that comes close to Kowloon. And find something similar to Kowloon's duck sauce? Forget about it. Same goes for the famous "Saugus Wings" and crab rangoon, and...hell...and everything. I love this place.
OK, non food related - my old stomping grounds: What used to be known as "Boston Street Cafe" is now called "O'Brien's." I admit, in my early 20's I spent many, many, many a night at that place. Especially the Tuesday open mic night every week. I met a lot of great friends and extremely talented musicians there, and actually got started singing in a band from frequenting the stage at open mic. The ties I made there have lasted and I always go back to sing when I am in town. For the past few years, Lenny and I have had most of the night to play all the songs we want..kind of a VIP treatment. ;) The same will happen this trip, and I really can't wait to be back in my element!
So, I'm hoping for a great *cold* non-humid trip home. And I hope to have some great foliage opportunities, I need to put my camera to more use!
Above is a picture that I bought from an artist selling his work on a quaint little part of the sidewalk in Paris. It is my favorite keepsake that I brought back from my trip to Europe. When I went to have it framed, it just so happened that I got an amazing deal on the exact frame I wanted, and I think it suits the painting perfectly. I look at this picture everyday, and everyday I am reminded of that wonderful moment, heading to Notre Dame Cathedral, on the streets of Paris.
